This is one of the issues I was faced with today: My nation's animal is the banana slug, and because the issues are written for a broad number of random animals, this was pretty funny:
The IssueThe fierce debate on Banana Slug hunting in Cinotopia has been brought to your attention after vociferous supporters of both sides of the argument stormed your parliament.
The Debate1. "Banana Slug hunting is a cruel and horrible 'sport' for the wealthy," says Rosalia Peters of the 'Protect Anything Cute and Furry Society'. "How can you possibly justify it? Oh, they witter on about 'tradition' and 'pest control' and other such nonsense, but really we all know it's because these sadists love to torture poor, innocent animals! Hunting must be banned!"
2. "Banning Banana Slug hunting would be the end for centuries of tradition!" wails esteemed aristocrat Aaron McAlpin from atop his steed. "The thrill of the chase, the baying of the hounds, the Banana Slug scooting through the undergrowth - it would be a travesty! We provide much needed stimulus to the local tourism,
and you can't deny that Banana Slugs are pests - killing farmers' livestock for example! I propose that Banana Slug hunting be encouraged, for the cultural - and economic - benefit of the nation!"
3."Well, you know what I think?" asks Mary Bush, while helping to assemble a small trebuchet. "I reckon that the real issue about this sport is the cruelty aspect, and no-one can deny that sending a pack of dogs to tear apart a poor, innocent Banana Slug is cruel. I reckon we should just ban hunting with hounds and only allow
kinder and more instantly lethal methods like guns, tranquillisers, and cruise missiles."
4.. "I'm firmly against the slaughter of dumb animals," says Imogen Sato, while feeding an infant Banana Slug with a milk bottle. "It would be best if the animals didn't die, and hunters could still do what they love to do - how about instead of shooting them or sending vicious canines after them, the hunter runs up to his quarry and gives it a symbolic 'tap' with his hand? Now isn't that much nicer for everyone?"
